


You Could Drive A Person Crazy

by missdibley



Series: Conversation Hearts [3]
Category: British Actor RPF, Friend Request Pending, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Chronic Illness, F/M, Flirting, Friend Request Pending - Freeform, beer garden, wingman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 17:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6018136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The latest battle in the ongoing war between the sexes. Two young women have caught the eye of Tom and Jason as they enjoy a pint at their local. But are these lasses friend or foe?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Could Drive A Person Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the world of the short film _Friend Request Pending_ , where Tom is basically playing a version of himself. Hope it works.

_Exclusive you!_  
_Elusive you!_  
_Will any person ever get the juice of you?_  
_You're crazy_  
_You're a lovely person_  
_You're a moving_  
_Deeply malajusted_  
_Never to be trusted_  
_Crazy person yourself_  
Stephen Sondheim, “You Could Drive A Person Crazy”

* * *

“There.”

Jason nodded at the girl across the garden, lifting his pint to his lips. When he didn’t see Tom raise his head out of the corner of his eye, he jabbed his friend with his elbow.

“Oi!” Tom jabbed him back before grabbing his phone, which he had dropped on the ground. “What is it?”

“More like who. That girl. Over there.” Jason nodded again. “Lola. The redhead with the tits.”

Tom shrugged, then went back to his phone. “So you like her. Go talk to her.”

“Can’t.” Jason grimaced before draining his glass. “See the girl standing next to her?”

When Tom saw the girl standing to Lola’s left, he froze. “I know her.”

Jason looked incredulous. “How?”

“What do you mean how?” Tom scoffed. “I know loads of people.”

“But you can’t know Jamilah. She hates everybody! She’s notorious for being rude, secretive, and completely insane!”

“She’s also completely hot, Jase.”

“Well, there is that. But believe me, everybody…”

“Who’s everybody?”

“Every lad from Hampstead to Shoreditch. Shot ‘em all down. And even worse, she’s Lola’s wingman. Lola won’t so much as look at a bloke if Jamilah doesn’t approve.”

“So she’s less a wingman than a pitbull, eh?”

“If a pitbull could look as good as she does in a mini skirt, then yeah.”

The two men sighed then leaned back against the brick wall.

Across the garden, Jamilah was on her phone, much to the annoyance of her best friend.

“‘Mila.” Lola put her hand in the crook of Jamilah’s arm. “There he is.”

“Who? What?” Jamilah looked up, frowning when she caught sight of Jason and Tom staring at them. “Oh for fuck’s sake…”

“Oh what now?” Lola said irritably. “You know ‘em?”

“I know the blonde, the one with the come fuck me look and the perfectly worn-in leather jacket.”

“Oh,” murmured Lola. “I was looking at his friend, with the smile and the beautiful eyes.”

“And the bulge in his tight jeans!”

“Jamilah Johanssen!” Lola tried to look serious but laughed when Jamilah hugged her. “Okay, there is that.”

“That’s Jason, the guy you showed me on Facebook?” When Lola nodded, Jamilah tilted her head. “I think he went to school with one of my cousins…”

Before Lola could ask which cousin, as Jamilah had about thirty cousins on both the Filipino-American and Danish sides of her family, her friend was already back to her phone, furiously texting and messaging all of them at once. Lola was amazed at the speed of her friend’s fingers as they tapped and swiped. Before too long, Jamilah looked up with a satisfied smile.

“Go talk to him. Cousins on both sides have vouched for him from the crêche to college.”

“All that in a matter of seconds?”

Jamilah held up her phone. “Thanks to the magic of social media and family members who are on it all the bleeding time.”

Lola squared her shoulders, tapped her cane on the paving stone, and took a step. She turned back to look at her friend. “The blonde.”

“Uh huh.” Jamilah looked up at Tom, who was sneaking looks at her while he fiddled with his phone.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know his name.”

“Okay. I won’t tell you I don’t know his name.”

“That’s Tom Hiddleston.”

“Right.”

“The actor.”

“Yeah.”

“He’s fucking gorgeous.”

“I guess.”

“Jamilah…” pleaded Lola.

“The boy cousins hate him.”

“Which ones?”

“The Johanssens _and_ the Aguilars.”

“Both sides?! Why do they hate him?”

“All the girls, meaning their ex-girlfriends, fancy him.”

“That’s not his fault.”

“It is when the girls have broken up with my cousins because they thought maybe he looked at them once in a crowded pub, much like this one I might add, and off they go.”

“Your cousins date idiots.”

“I can only hope it doesn’t run in the family.” Jamilah muttered.

“‘Mila,” said Lola. “He’ll be alright. Come with me. Help me with Jason.”

Jason’s cheeks coloured as he saw the girls crossing the garden. He found himself speechless in Lola’s presence. Her wide brown eyes sparkled as she gave him her nicest smile. He stood up, pulling a stool over so she could sit opposite the bench occupied by himself and Tom. Jamilah grabbed a wicker footstool for herself.

“Cheers.” Lola crossed her hands on the top of her cane, feeling shy all of a sudden. “You’re Jason, right?”

The young suitor nodded, then offered his hand. “At your service. Louise, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it’s Lola. That’s what my friends call me.”

“It’s perfect.”

“Is it?” Lola bit her lip. “How?”

“It’s short. Sweet. Music to the ears.”

 _Oh god what is he doing,_ Tom thought.

 _He’s so awkward it’s adorable,_ Jamilah thought. She cleared her throat. “Yeah, Jason. You went to university with a few of my cousins. Freddie and Oscar?”

“The Aguilars? Yeah, they were a lot of fun. What are they up to now?”

Jamilah smiled then held up her phone to show him a photo. “Filipino food truck. My aunt helps them with the cooking, but it’s all their idea.”

Jason laughed at the picture. “Amazing.”

“Yeah, and Lola does their PR. She’s just starting out with her business but the truck’s doing so well now.”

“Is it?” Jason “That’s superb.”

“Yeah. I mean…” Lola shrugged. “It’s easy. Jamilah’s cousins and aunt, they’re a pleasure to work with. And of course the food is incredible.”

“Is it?”

Lola nodded. “Yeah.” She was about to babble about the truck when her phone pinged her. “Ah! They just tweeted. The truck’s just down the road. They’re doing the tea time special we talked about.”

“I’d love some tea. And I’ve never had Filipino food before.” Jason looked hopeful. He held his hand out to Lola, a look of glad relief crossing his face when she took it. “Shall we?”

“Yeah.”

Jamilah couldn’t help but notice that Lola appeared to float as Jason followed her through the garden, his hand placed gently in the small of her back as they navigated the crowd. She forgot she wasn’t alone when, as she sniffed, Tom placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You alright?”

Jamilah nodded, feeling silly as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “He didn’t see it.”

“What didn’t he see?”

“The cane.” Jamilah sat up, but averted her eyes. “He didn’t see it. Or he didn’t say… he just saw her.”

“Oh.” Tom nodded, but he didn’t quite understand.

“It’s just… they always want to ask her about it. And when they do, if she tells them why, it’s all they want to talk about. ‘Oh yeah, my auntie had MS. Made her miserable.’ or ‘Aren’t you afraid of dying?’ The fucking nerve. I mean, I get it, it’s a bit of a shock. But they can’t get past it. They see her, how gorgeous she is. So they come chat her up. But as soon as they notice it, or how she’s a bit unsteady, that’s it. Who cares about her beautiful smile, her fantastic tits…”

Tom coughed. “What?!”

Jamilah shook her head. “Come on. You know they are.” She laughed when Tom blushed. “It’s like she stops being a pretty girl when they see it. Or they make these gross jokes and I have to stop myself from shoving them into a canal.”

“You’re a good friend.” Tom held up his pint glass in a toast to her. “You’re a good friend, Jamilah Johanssen.”

“Thank you, Thomas Hiddleston.”

“You know my name.”

Jamilah blushed. “Yeah. I mean, don’t be daft. I’ve seen your films. I’m not a total moron. But how do you know mine?”

“Mates of mine, they…”

“Let me guess. They say I’m rude, a bitch?” She smiled ruefully when Tom looked askance. “Don’t worry about it. I bet if you tell me their names, I’ll confirm that it was these same arseholes who approached Lola the way I described.”

“I won’t list them then.”

“Thanks. And in return, I won’t list those of my cousins who hate you for enticing their girlfriends away.”

Tom frowned, as he was utterly confused. “What?”

“All these girls who’ve broken up with their boyfriends for a shot with you. A different girl practically every night.”

“I…” Tom shrugged. “I had a serious girlfriend before. Made a huge mistake when I was working in LA. Now that I’m back…”

“Enjoying being a bachelor, then?” Jamilah’s tone was light, but Tom still winced.

“Just finding myself. Figuring it out.” He looked at her shyly. “I’d rather hoped I would have gotten it together by the time I got to talk to you.”

“ _Got_ to talk to me? Was there a queue?” Jamilah grinned.

“More like a wall. Did you know you have a lot of cousins?”

Jamilah laughed. “Yeah, I am aware.”

“They’re very protective of you and the rest of your girl cousins”

“How protective? How long have they been…?”

“Since the age of 13, I’d say. Your cousin Rory went around Eton, warning off the lot of us who lived within an hour’s drive of London. By the time I got to Cambridge…”

“Oh Jesus…” Jamilah rubbed the bridge her nose. “I bet my grandfather Aguilar put them up to it. Such a hardass. How he manages to boss them around all the way from New York I’ll never know.”

“Sounds formidable, your grandfather. If he’s all the way in America, I reckon he’s impossible to get through to.”

“I don’t know about that.” Jamilah leaned in, close enough that Tom could see the small freckle on her bottom lip. “There may be a way.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Get into the good graces of his favorite daughter. Go to her food truck and buy the whole lot.”

Tom smiled, then stole a kiss from Jamilah before she could stop him. “Challenge accepted.”

**Author's Note:**

> Had a few pals in mind when I wrote Lola and the visible details of her appearance/condition. Please let me know if you think I got it wrong, or if I can improve it. Thanks!


End file.
